well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
