I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
