...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
