The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
