I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
