I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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