So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
