Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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