he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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