exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
