Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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