if you like me you must not know who I am
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
