we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
