I think I am morally bankrupt
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The ass gains better be worth it
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