I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
