Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
