The maid of honor just puked.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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