home. puking in laundry basket.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
