i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
