names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
His nipple licking is glorious
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