I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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