I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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