Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
