the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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