Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
