look no pants
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wish my penis had a tongue
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
