So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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