After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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