hotel room ftw
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
