I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
