yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
