Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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