There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
