I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
