I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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