lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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