I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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