I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
