How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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