This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
