I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
