I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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