Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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