i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize