how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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