we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
