I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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