Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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