I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
