I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize