I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
