You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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