Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
