I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize