Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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