Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
