Sponge bath it is.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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