i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She's not a foreskin expert like you
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize