dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize