Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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