He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
