Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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