there's paper in my vomit.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize