everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
